The Mainly Annual EastWesterly Review / Postmodern Village Conference 2005

A Report on the 12th Annual Postmodern Village Conference

By Norma Perfect

Pre-Conference: Politics as Usual

Stan WankeySpankTank: Gitmo and the International Politics of S/M
by Stan Wankey

To say that Stan Wankey is up to his old tricks again would be to imply that he gets paid. But by testing the limits of academic freedom and the PATRIOT Act simultaneously, he reminds us again that the trade in oil is not just bloody, but bloody rough. And this time, the spiked collars were free to take home.

Cole N. PowellBush's Binary Mood: Peevishness and Truculence as the New World Bipolar (Dis)Order
by Cole N. Powell

Strangely resembling a noted political figure, this presenter spiked his satisfyingly acerbic presentation with charts, graphs, and a satellite photo depicting the presidential id as "a size and shape conducive to a massive Projection complex." Interesting, but we're awaiting more analysis before we commit to any aggressive treatment.

Fidel Gastro BorgnineSoylent Guantanamo: America Eats the World
by Fidel Gastro Borgnine

Terrorists is people!

Ian WrightRick Steves: America's Euronerd as Antipodian CounterBush, or Europe Through the Back Door (Wink-Wink, Nudge-Nudge; Say No More, Squire)
by Ian Wright

It was always amazing to me how desperately dorky Rick Steves would always be met in Bern or Madrid by the "intensely personable Ingrid" or "the smolderingly lovely Monique" for a "private tour" of the city's "hidden treasures." But Wright may be right: the Super Skeezix wears better than the Craven Killer Cowboy, no matter how the East Germans may feel about the Marlboro Man. And Wright's free Europasses were a nice touch, as little good as they did us in the Great Desert Down Under.

Tobe Trimile IsleIgnorance as Ontology: the Bush Doctrine Goes "Newkewler"
by Tobe Trimile Isle

As descriptive philosophy it's as on target as a smart bomb. But what he don't know can hurt us. Welcome to the age of the Plutoniumocracy.

Brooks CarlsonDonald Rumsfeld FanFic: the (Comp)Action of Politico-Celebrity and the Rise of the Red State Romance
by Brooks Carlson

Ever since Ronald Reagan, the line has been blurry, but as the age of the Internet collapses back on the Republican Revolution, and as teeny boppers steeped in "reality" TV increasingly see no difference between NCIS and the CBS News, we should be but little surprised that Bush's favorite talking head should appear in grassroots neocon Harlequin. Rumsfeld may know his own mind, though I doubt it. But no matter how you slice the salami, Rummy's still no Fabio. Come to think of it, neither is Fabio.

Sue NeurstateOutré is OK! Mainstream Rebellion as Red State Motif
by Sue Neurstate

The ultimate outsider has always been the Midwestern farmer. Unfortunately, he has also always been the only "real" American. To confuse matters, America's shift to the political right has put down-home politics into every home, welcome or not. Neurstate's notion of rebellion as "empowering normalcy" is astute but was overpowered by the Three Dog Night soundtrack and the Joad-level dust storm. Maybe next election cycle?

Anne T. Bellum and Benjamin CompsonLittle Lord Faulkneroy: How the South Won the War for Literary Supremacy and Inadvertently Created the NeoCon Aristocracy
by Anne T. Bellum and Benjamin Compson

To call it Faulkner's fault is to abuse the man's legacy, but Bellum and Compson's thesis has merit if the Dukes of Hazzard and the bizarrely successful careers of Bill Clinton and NASCAR are any indication. When is a Bubba not a Bubba? When he's the boss, dawg.

Page 3: Papers on Religion and Belief