Post-Modern Prom King Contestant 1: Dr. Pete

Mari Bucholz

Issue 14 * Summer 2004

Name: Peter (nickname: Dr. Pete)
Age: 32
Title: Research associate

1. Is your chosen profession sexy? Why/why not?
I wasn't expecting that kind of a question . . . Sure it's sexy: we use big giant accelerators and smash things together -- it's very exciting.

2. How has our culture influenced your choice in profession?
My mom tells me that when I was little I saw Star Wars. Since then I've always had science and space in mind, so I guess culture influenced me that way.

3. In your opinion how has your chosen profession influenced our culture?
I'm not sure that it really has -- we don't really get a lot of publicity.

4. Would you consider your current project to be the highlight of your career?
No.

5. Are you currently working on your project in order to pick up chicks?
Unfortunately not.

6. Have you done anything recently that would be considered unconventional or rebellious or that otherwise questions current convention?
Not that I can think of at the moment.

7. Do all of your colleagues have perverted senses of humor? Why/why not?
How perverted is perverted? Not all of them, but a lot of them do because we have kind of a high stress environment and that's how we blow off steam.

8. Do you enjoy a perverted sense of humor? Why/why not?
Absolutely.

9. Do you embrace the ambiguity inherent in the system? How? Why?
I guess not. I don't think I entirely understand the question.

10. Boxers or briefs?
Mixed.

11. Are you secretly an evil doctor?
Sure.

12. Do you tell chicks that you're a doctor in order to score?
Sometimes.

13. How do you feel about modern culture?
I dig it.

14. Why do you feel your chosen profession is beneficial to mankind?
Because we are spanning the frontiers of knowledge and that is always a nice thing.

15. Would you rather be invisible or have super powers (no, invisibility is not a super power)? Why?
Super powers because they're cool! What's the point in being invisible? It's much better to do cool stuff.

16. Would you rather be stuck in an elevator with a person that has a cold or an annoying person?
An annoying person, 'cause once you get out of the elevator with the annoying person that person is gone, but the cold is there to stay.

17. What would you like to give to the world?
A big sloppy kiss.

18. If you were to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where?
[Dr. Pete takes a moment to think.] This is why I don't have a tattoo. I would get an animal's head on my shoulder.

19. Where were you when Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's engagement was announced?
When was that?

20. What character from Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill! do you most relate to and why?
Oh god . . . the one movie I don't have . . .

21. What is your favorite song and why?
I don't know if I have a favorite favorite song . . . I like, sort of, novelty in music, and I like it to be sort of heavy hardcore metal kind of stuff. Can't think of a particular song.

22. If your life were a poem, would it

a. Rhyme
b. Follow a regular tempo
c. Not make sense
d. Stir emotion in even the least literate of people
e. Be made into a successory

It would probably not make sense . . .(These [questions] are hard) . . . What are the other choices again? I can't think of a good reason.

23. It's 3:00 a.m., you're thirsty, and you have to pee. What do you do?
I go get a Mt. Dew and take it with me to the bathroom.

24. How did you take the news that Santa was not real?
I don't remember.

25. How do you like your eggs?
Sunny-side up.

26. Water or cola?
Cola.

27. What's your favorite food? Why?
Do candy bars count? I really like those Twix with the peanut butter flavor 'cause they're just very tasty.

28. What is your favorite thing to watch?
Weird movies.

29. With all of these things in mind, why should you be considered king of the postmodern prom?
I didn't even know I was running. [Peter can't think of a reason.]

30. Who would your prom queen be?
That would have to be you, Mari.