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Postmodern Village
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Bean Gone So Long
by E.W. Wilder

As we suffer through yet another Bush Administration, Bean Newton’s observations in the uncharacteristically colloquial “AmeriCo, 2.0" seem utterly apt.

Things staying the same has done little to lessen the sadness that this year marks the sixth anniversary of Newton’s death. His experimental “Camelbak” excoriating corporate America still seems fresh, however. While far from immune to trends and fashions, the world of poetry is slow to adopt new ones, and so Newton’s use of separate but inter-related columns in this poem, like “AmeriCo, 2.0" written half a decade before his death, is just now beginning to gain acceptance in some of today’s more edgy literary journals.

 

AmeriCo, 2.0
by Bean Newton

Get yer big, slobbery dog off’n me.
It’s a humpin’ my leg, droolin’
all over’n my shoes. The blasted thang’s
flea-bitten coat is sheddin’ off in patches
on my brand new blue jeans. Yer big ole Texas
range mutt is footy-printin’ up my floor, heel nippin,’
and his big-ass ropey ol’ tail threatens to wag
all my wife’s Precious Moments nicknacks right
off the divan.
He’s alreddy swallered her Snowbabies.

It just ain’t fair,
                        that big ol’ bruiser
of a part-oil-derrick/part St. Bernard should
come wragglin’ in here and piss all over my carpet, lay
turds on the fine upholstery of all my La-Z-Boy
recliner’s incline planes, and have the gall
to barf up his Ken-l-Ration right
on the coffee table. Damn it all! Send it back
to Midland or Kennefuk before the real hurtin’
starts. Dog like that gonna gnaw off a feller’s
leg at night just to feel the bone crunch.
It’s like livin’ yer own country song.

* * *

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