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Postmodern Village
est. 1999
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"Portrait of the Pardoner" from the General Prologue of The Canterbury Tales
By Geoffrey Chaucer and the EastWestern University Dada Cluster

The EastWestern University Dada Cluster is a society dedicated to using Microsoft Office®'s built-in dictionary and grammar checkers to correct works of literature. It has also been charged with using Babelfish to translate works of literature into foreign languages and back again.


With him their rood a gentile PARDONER
Of Rouncivale, his friend and his compeer,
That straight was cowmen fro the court of Rome.
Full louder he song "Com hider, love, to me!"
This Somonauk bar to him a stiff Burdon;
Was never tromped of half so greet a soon.
This Pardoner hade here as yellow as wax,
But smother it hen as tooth a strike of flex;
By ounces hinge his locks that he hade,
And therewith he hose shoulders overspreads;
But thinner it lay by colons on and on.
But hood, for joltier, wired he noon,
For it was trussed up in his wallet.
Him thought he rood al of the newel jet;
Disheveled, save his cape, he rood al bare.
Switched glaring eyen hade he as an hare.
An overnice hade he sowed upon his cape.
His wallet lay biform him in his lappet
Fretful of pardon come from Rome al hoot.
A vows he hade as small as hath a got,
No bred hade he, new never shoaled has;
As smother it was as it were late shave,
I trowel he were a gelding or a mare.
But of his craft, from Berwyn into Ware,
New was their switch another pardoner;
For in his male he hade a pile-beer,
Which that he side was Outré Lady veil:
He side he hade a gobbet of the seal
That Saint Peter hade, when that he went
Upon the see, till Jesus Crest him hence.
He hade a cloys of lateen full of stones,
And in a glass he hade pigged bones.
But with these relies, when that he fond
A pore person dwelling upon land,
Upon a day he gat him more mooneye
Than that the person gat in months tweed;
And thus, with fined flattery and japes,
He made the person and the people his apes.
But tersely to teller ate lasted,
He was in churches a noble ecclesiast.
Well code he reed a lesson or a stories,
But alder best he song and offertories;
For well he waste, when that song was singe,
He most perched, and well affine his tinge
To wine silver, as he full well code;
Therefore he song the Muriel and louder.


With hym ther rood a gentil PARDONER
Of Rouncivale, his freend and his compeer,
That streight was comen fro the court of Rome.
Ful loude he soong "Com hider, love, to me!"
This Somonour bar to hym a stif burdoun;
Was nevere trompe of half so greet a soun.
This Pardoner hadde heer as yelow as wex,
But smothe it heeng as dooth a strike of flex;
By ounces henge his lokkes that he hadde,
And therwith he hise shuldres overspradde;
But thynne it lay by colpons oon and oon.
But hood, for jolitee, wered he noon,
For it was trussed up in his walet.
Hym thoughte he rood al of the newe jet;
Dischevelee, save his cappe, he rood al bare.
Swiche glarynge eyen hadde he as an hare.
A vernycle hadde he sowed upon his cappe.
His walet lay biforn hym in his lappe
Bretful of pardoun come from Rome al hoot.
A voys he hadde as smal as hath a goot,
No berd hadde he, ne nevere sholde have;
As smothe it was as it were late shave,
I trowe he were a geldyng or a mare.
But of his craft, from Berwyk into Ware,
Ne was ther swich another pardoner;
For in his male he hadde a pilwe-beer,
Which that he seyde was Oure Lady veyl:
He seyde he hadde a gobet of the seyl
That Seint Peter hadde, whan that he wente
Upon the see, til Jesu Crist hym hente.
He hadde a croys of latoun ful of stones,
And in a glas he hadde pigges bones.
But with thise relikes, whan that he fond
A povre persoun dwellyng upon lond,
Upon a day he gat hym moore moneye
Than that the person gat in monthes tweye;
And thus, with feyned flaterye and japes,
He made the persoun and the peple his apes.
But trewely to tellen atte laste,
He was in chirche a noble ecclesiaste.
Wel koude he rede a lessoun or a storie,
But alderbest he song an offertorie;
For wel he wiste, whan that song was songe,
He moste preche, and wel affile his tonge
To wynne silver, as he ful wel koude;
Therfore he song the murierly and loude.