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High School Boot Cramp
by E.W. Wilder

The scholarly debate regarding Bean Newton's high school experiences continue to rage, but one thing is certain: he thought of them more as a reflection of popular culture than a genuine experience in and of themselves, as evidenced in the following poem, "Stanky Wrinklebean."

The associations between American high schools and pointless warfare are obvious to anyone who has experienced them, so they won't be expounded upon here, but note the backdoor monasticism. A hint at a nascent spirituality or another area of bitter disaffection?

Stanky Wrinklebean
by Bean Newton

Good thinking, Sergeant! snapped
the colonel, and the valley
                                                             was flooded
with salami.
                                 Drab olive dabbed
with monklight mooned down
from heavin' above; kindly
                                                               spiter-monkeys dis-
played barren teeth. In the end,
                                                                            there was oatmeal. \