Winning in Brownbackistan: A Guide for British
by Geoff Doulton
With print journalism in crisis and free internships often benefiting
only the wealthy who can afford to work without pay, a remarkable coalition
of newspapers, magazines, trade and academic journals have offered exchange
programs. For example, an intern at an academic journal in the Midwest
may spend a week in London at a horse racing magazine, and vice versa.
Some fits are better than others. This is all to give interns a more
diverse experience and better preparation for the ever-changing job
field. What follows is the result of one such exchange.
1) Remember bets are for entertainment purposes only.
2) Think as the lord of the manor, though there are no lords in the
3) Americans always go with their gut, which is why "all-you-can-eat"
buffets are always in casinos.
4) Smoking is allowed indoors publicly if you are gambling in a casino
since you have already proven you accept risk.
5) If you wish to gamble and be taxed at only 15%, choose stocks instead.
6) No one knows exactly what is going to happen in the future, except
for insider traders and lobbyists.
7) What is your risk level? Will you speak your opinion when leadership
disagrees? Will you pick the untried horse in which no others believe?
Will you just stick with the horse who has a (R) after his name and
is therefore usually assured victory?
8) Does your belief system include a god that answers prayers for particular
horses to win? Might other people of the same faith be sending prayers
for different horses? Must you wait for your pastor to make his picks
before you choose your bets? Is this necessarily a problem for faith?
9) The human mind wants to find patterns where there may not be any.
10) The House always wins. Sometimes the Senate does, but less frequently.
You never will.