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Postmodern Village
est. 1999
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A Brief and Incomplete History of the Strong Denial
by E.W. Wilder

The Lord has been accused by fake news of causing it to rain for 40 and days and 40 nights, destroying the flesh of the earth, the fowl, the cattle, the beasts, all that creepeth, and every man, except Noah, his family, and those with him on his ark.

The Lord strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day in the repentance of the Lord for having created men and fowl and cattle and beasts and creeping things, that they should just become all wicked and evil, when such accusations can be so easily made.

Simeon and Levi have been accused by fake news of slaying all of the males of Shalem, and of spoiling the city, taking all of their asses and oxen, their sheep, their women, and their children.

Simeon and Levi strongly deny this. It is truly a dark day in the history of placing circumcision above diplomacy when such accusations can be so easily made.

The Lord thy God has been accused by fake news of giving unto the people of Israel for an inheritance the cities of the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanities, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites, and in taking them to leave nothing that breathes alive.

The Lord strongly denies this. Truly, it is a dark day in the effort to avoid the abominations of others' differences when such accusations can be so easily made.

Fake news has reported that Joshua and his men have taken the city of Jericho, razing its walls and claiming its silver and gold, brass and iron, killing all of its women and men, children and oxen, asses and sheep, and burning the city.

Joshua strongly denies this. Truly it is a dark day in the increase of the treasury of the Lord when such accusations may be so easily made.

Fake news now reports that the army of Joshua has burned the city of Ai, ambushed its men, killing them, and killing the women as they fled the burning city, and hanging its king. Joshua and his men have kept the cattle and other spoils of victory.

Joshua strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day in the history of law of Moses when such accusations can be so lightly made.

Fake news Jotham has accused Abimelech of slaying his brethren, sons of Jerubbal, amounting to some threescore and ten.

Abimelech strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day in the history of one to reign and not threescore and
ten when such accusations may be so cryptically made by failing news Jotham.

Abimelech has been accused by fake news of destroying the city of Shechem, razing its tower, and killing all within, and of salting its fields. Fake news also accuses Abimelech of being mortally wounded by a woman.

Abimelech strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day in the life of a king when such accusations can be so easily made.

Fake news has reported that Zeus appeared before Leda as a swan, raped her, and impregnated her with Helen and Polydeuces, leading eventually to the massive slaughter of the Trojan War.

Zeus strongly denies this. While it is no doubt true that something happened to Leda, she does not remember important details of that night, the day before, or the following day. Besides, Zeus likes wine, and Zeus’s calendar clearly shows that he had an appointment that day at Timmy’s for 'skis w/Judge, Tom, PJ, Bernie, & Squi.

Fake news has reported that Troy has, after many years of siege, been sacked by the Greeks, its residents slaughtered, its temples desecrated, and that the Greeks have taken some of its women and children as slaves.

The Greeks strongly deny this. It is truly a dark day in the history of fights over women when such accusations may be so easily made. It is worrisome, too, as now Greek heroes may be accused by anyone at any time and bad things befall them as they attempt to sail back home.

Romulus has been accused by fake news of leading his men to rape and abduct the Sabine women in order to populate their city.

Romulus strongly denies this. While Romulus does not doubt something happened to the Sabine women, they are unable to recall important details of that night, the day before, the following day—or even whose chariot drove them to Rome. Besides, his calendar clearly shows that Romulus was spending that day at Timmy’s for 'skis w/Judge, Tom, PJ, Bernie, & Squi.

Alexander of Macedon has been accused by fake news of laying siege to Tyre and Gaza, massacring their men and selling their women and children into slavery.

Alexander strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day in the history of empire-building when such accusations can be so easily made.

King Herod has been accused by fake news of, in his wrath, sending forth for the killing of all children under the age of two in Bethlehem, and in the coasts thereof.

King Herod strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day in the history of law and order when such accusations can be so easily made.

Attila, king of the Huns, has been accused by fake news of looting and pillaging the Balkans, as far as Thermopylae, ravaging the monks and maidens, capturing the churches and monasteries, and leaving uncountable numbers dead. He is further accused of invading Gaul and Italy, sacking, and looting along the way, and razing cities to the ground. He is further accused of defiling Honoria, or of tricking her into a proposed marriage.

Attila strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day in the history of empire and of the warrior-kings when such accusations may be so lightly made.

Fake news Alcuin has reported that Vikings have raided the priory at Lindisfarne and "poured out the blood of saints around the altar, and trampled on the bodies of saints in the temple of God, like dung in the streets."

The Vikings strongly deny this. Truly, it is a dark day in the history of sacking and looting when such accusations can be so easily made.

Fake news has reported that Christendom has embarked on a series of so-called "crusades," leading to the Rhineland massacres of Jews, the sacking of Constantinople, and leading to centuries of violence and warfare with pagans in eastern and northern Europe and with Muslims in the Holy Land, laying siege to Jerusalem and Antioch, among others.

The Church Universal strongly denies this. Truly it is a dark day in the history of evangelism when such accusations can be so lightly brought forth.

Fake news has reported that the European aristocracy has developed a system of feudalism, placing the majority of the population in a position of subjugation, making them, as serfs, essentially the property of the landowner upon whose land they dwell.

The aristocracy strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day in the history of nobility and the Great Chain of Being when such accusations can be so easily made.

Queen Isabella of Castile and King Ferdinand II of Aragon have been accused by fake news of an inquisition to determine who in their lands are heretics, brutally prosecuting 150,000 through torture and executing between three and five thousand.

The Spanish royal family strongly denies this. It is truly a frightening day in the history of The One True Faith when such accusations may be so easily made.

Fake news has reported that the European nations and Japan, led by the Spanish and the Portuguese, have spent centuries colonizing other parts of the world, notably South and Southeast Asia, Africa, Polynesia, Australia, New Zealand, and the Americas, destroying indigenous populations, stripping the land of its resources, and causing widespread environmental devastation.

Europe strongly denies this and objects to the notion that their policies amount to "the horror." It is truly a dark day in the history of enterprising peoples when such accusations can be so easily leveled by unsuccessful nations against more successful nations.

Fake news has reported that the American colonies and the United States have helped establish and maintain a practice of and trade in slavery, capturing tens of millions, primarily from Africa, and working them on plantations producing sugar, tobacco, cotton, and other labor-intensive crops, and in mines.

The colonial powers and the US strongly deny this. It is truly a dark day in the history of American enterprise when such accusations may be so lightly meted out.

Fake news has reported that The Great White Father has waged some 1500 wars against the native American peoples, enacted policies of forced migration, sterilization, cultural destruction, re-education, and introduction of foreign disease, resulting in the deaths of some 4.75 to 14.75 million people.

The Great White Father strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day in the history of freedom, democracy, and manifest destiny when such accusations can be so easily made.

Fake news has reported that the East India Tea Company, in its governorship of India, has allowed several famines to take place, resulting in the deaths of between 5 and 20 million people collectively.

The East India Tea Company strongly denies this. Truly, it is a dark day in the history of international trade when such accusations may be so easily made.

Fake news has reported that King Leopold II has been responsible, in his holdings in the Congo, for the deaths of up to 20 million through repression, disease, starvation, and abuse.

The King strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day in the history of free enterprise when such accusations can be made so easily.

The Serbian and Montenegrin armies have been accused by fake news of destroying various Albanian villages and killing their populations.

These armies strongly deny that any such activities took place and suggest that the true horror here is that valorous soldiers everywhere must now watch their backs lest they be wrongly accused of massacre.

According to fake news, the assassination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand has led much of the civilized world into war, with particularly brutal fighting focused on trenches in France.

The world powers strongly deny this and any accusations of the use of chemical weapons, aeroplanes, dirigibles, and tracked vehicles. It is truly a dark day when good leaders everywhere have to live in constant fear of being accused of fomenting war for such trite and transient reasons.

Fake news has reported the complete destruction of the Spanish town of Guernica, by combined German, Italian, and Spanish Nationalist forces. The fake reporters go on to claim that this is part of some farcical "blitzkrieg" concept, practice for a future fascist global war that they just totally made up.

Spanish, German, and Italian military leaders strongly deny this. It is truly a dark day in the history of these proud military forces when they must live in constant fear of such false accusations.

Fake news has reported that the National Socialist government of the Third Reich has developed a policy of systematic enslavement of, experimentation upon, and summary extermination of Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals, political prisoners, and mental and physical degenerates.

The Third Reich strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day for the Aryan people specifically and for the Master Races in general when such outrageous accusations can be so easily made by clearly more racially impure and less evolved peoples. We do not doubt that something happened to these people—perhaps they are confused or the victims of their own inherent degeneracy. But that is no excuse to accuse the Master Race as part of a worldwide conspiracy by lesser people to discredit the clear winners in the racial lottery and as an attempt to disrupt the natural order of things.

Fake news has accused the United States military of developing nuclear super-weapons, the first two of which, they claim, were dropped on Imperial Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. While it is true that these two important, industrialized cities were key targets in our attempt to beat back the forces of Japanese aggression, we strongly deny that such weapons will usher in an age of international "cold war" built upon the terrible promise of "mutually assured destruction."

It is truly a dark day when those fighting for freedom, justice, and the American Way can be accused of such insanity by those who would promote the cause of godless Communism and Soviet domination.

Fake news has reported that, under the leadership of Josef Stalin, the Soviet government has "disappeared," executed, or incarcerated in the Gulags, up to 5 million of its own citizens.

The USSR strongly denies this and reinforces its commitment to equality, ideological purity, and the international plight of the proletariat. It is truly a dark day in the history of class struggle—which is history itself—when its leaders can be so easily accused of such atrocities by the forces of capitalism and injustice.

Fake news has reported the deaths of up to 45 million people as a result of famine created by the agricultural policies of the People’s Republic of China, and the deaths of perhaps a million more through the process of "cultural revolution."

Chairman Mao strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day for the leaders of new nations everywhere when they can be so easily accused by capitalist pig-dogs of such outrageous actions and such misguided policy.

The US government has become aware that fake news has reported widespread bombing of North Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia, the spraying of toxic defoliants over large, populated areas of jungle, and the occasional massacre of "civilian" villagers, including women and children.

The government of the United States of America strongly denies this and noted that the release of Pentagon documents purportedly supporting these false accusations is an act of treason. It is truly a blow to democracy and freedom everywhere when such a bulwark of political and economic liberty can be so easily accused.

It has come to the attention of the government of the Republic of Uganda that fake news has accused the administration of His Excellency President for Life Field Marshal Alhaji Dr. Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, CBE of massacring up to 300,000 of its own people.

His Excellency President for Life Field Marshal Alhaji Dr. Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, CBE strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day in the history of all African peoples when such lies can be so easily told and so widely accepted.

Fake news has reported that the Khmer Rouge and the government of Democratic Kampuchea has killed between 1.5 and 3 million people in its attempt to create an agrarian socialist utopia.

Democratic Kampuchea and its prime minister Pol Pot strongly deny this. It is truly a dark day in the history of socialist revolution when such accusations can be so easily cast about by the forces of capitalist-imperialist oppression.

Fake news has reported that the Chilean government, under the leadership of Augusto Pinochet, has tortured tens of thousands and killed or disappeared more than 3,000 in its attempt to provide sensible economic policy.

The Chilean government and General Pinochet strongly deny this. It is truly frightening when those who uphold patriotism and liberty must live in constant fear of such false accusations by the forces of socialism and oppression.

The National Reorganization Process of Argentina has been charged by fake news of disappearing some 30,000 dissidents and Peronistas.

Those involved in this process strongly deny this. It is truly an affront to the fight against subversion when such charges can be so easily aimed at the forces of lawfulness and good social order.

It has come to the attention of the Rwandan government that the Interahamwe and Impuzamugambi have been accused of inciting and helping implement a campaign of rape and extermination of between 500,000 and one million Tutsi, political moderates, and Twa, encouraging Hutu civilians to attack the above with machetes and clubs.

The Rwandan government strongly denies this. These accusations are truly a slander against the Hutu Power ideology and make the Hutu vulnerable to counter attacks and victimization by the tyranny of the International Criminal Court.

Fake news has reported that the multi-sided war in the Democratic Republic of Congo has resulted in 350,000 killed outright and a total of 5.4 million excess (preventable) deaths.

The combatants on all sides strongly deny this. It is truly a sad day in the struggle over resources, land, and ethnic supremacy when such charges can be brought so easily against those who, after all, are merely pursuing the same goals put forth by their historical colonizers from Western Europe.

The governments of the United States, Great Britain and France, as well as others in the the Coalition of the Willing, as well as the governments of Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan, and the forces of the Taliban, al-Qaeda, and the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, have been accused of waging a global war both of and on terror, resulting in between 500,000 and 1.5 million total deaths and 3 million displaced, figures that continue to rise.

Those involved strongly deny this. It is truly a dark day in the history of self-defense and of re-establishment of the caliphate when such accusations can be so easily made. It is truly frightening to be engaged in meting out justice when one can be prone to the attacks and accusations of those who might be so foolish as to promote such weak-kneed notions of peace.

The administration of Bashar al-Assad has been accused by fake news of targeting civilians in response to the multi-party uprising in Syria, using both conventional and chemical weapons, and leading to over 110,000 civilian deaths, a toll that is still climbing. Fake news also reports that over 7 million people are internally displaced with over 5 million refugees fleeing Syria altogether.

The Syrian government strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day in the life of a duly appointed leader when his attempts to quell civil unrest can be so glibly maligned.

Both the Yemeni government and its ally Saudi Arabia understand that fake news has reported up to 50,000 deaths and the potential starvation of 13 million more from famine in the fight against the Houthi Supreme Political Council.

All parties involved strongly deny this. It is truly a dark day in the history of self-determination and regional alliances when such accusations can be so easily foisted upon the world stage.

Fake news has reported that the government of Myanmar has supported Buddhist militants in Rakhine state in burning 288 Rohingya villages, raping their women, and engaging in mass killings, displacing over 700,000 people in an effort at ethnic cleansing.

The government of Myanmar strongly denies this. It is truly a dark day in the history of good governance when such charges can be so easily brought forth.