Selections from the Intellectual Properties Series

Charles V. Gustavsen

Issue 6 * Summer 2001

Intellectual Properties #1

We like to think we're in the business
Of selling imagination

 

Intellectual Properties #2

Last night I went to >-TM-<
And had a >-®-<
It really >-®-<, as they say
On TV.

While I was there I paged through
A copy of >-TM-< and saw that
>-©-< ad with that picture of
>-®-< where you can see
Her whole >-©-<
Except for just her >-®-<.
It wasn't really all that.

 

Intellectual Properties #7

"And here's a lovely little property
that borders on Levi's and Nike.
It's hip enough to be high profile
but not so old that it invites
name dilution.
There's a gorgeous view of the
13-18 demographic from the
penthouse window.
And just over here we have another
nice little lot --
way undervalued, if you ask me..."

 

Intellectual Properties #9

I trademarked my name
So now I can sue
Direct marketers
For infringement
For using my trademark
In their promotional materials.

 

Intellectual Properties #10

Our business plan
For doubloon-island.com
Is based on the sanctity
And legally-binding nature
Of the contract
Contained in the consumer
License agreement.

The software we market
Will be expressly protected
From reverse engineering
Or decompilation
By the terms of the
License agreement.

This is necessary to protect
Vital trade secrets;
Specifically:
The fact that our software
Will -- in order to reduce
Engineering expenses
And provide quality product
To the consumer
At the price point
Our market research shows
Is being underserved
By today's software market --
Be composed mainly
Of software components
Engineered elsewhere
And used without license.

Due to the extremely competitive
Nature of our business
It is necessary that this information
Remain a highly guarded,
Proprietary trade secret
Of doubloon-island.com

At our next meeting
We will discuss with our attorneys
The question of the
Patentability
Of this business model.