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Foundling Theory Fund

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Wiping Buriden's Ass from Presidential Politics
By Fatima Blondell

I put it to you that any casual observer of the last Presidential election witnessed the confluence of all 3 major out of favor theories; to wit, Buridan's Ass, Phlogistics and Siderism.

Voters gave credibility to the stasis of Buridan's Ass by propelling two equally (un)appetizing candidatical (sic) choices into a tie; Scotus, a combustible body containing the matter and principle of fire, combusted in the manner proscribed by phlogistics when it disintegrated the voters' indecision in a burst of legal phlogistons; and the result is a sideristic disturbance on the Body Politic which "due to the unpredictable nature of sideristic disturbance (has not) instantly killed (the Body Politic), but rather slowly pulled it into a state of decline."

A unified "out of favor" theory may be called for since attempting to elevate each theory above the other in a calculated regime produces a frustrating shell game in which the pea looks the same no matter which thimble hides it.

Like, for what it's worth.

Works Cited

"The Foundling Theory Fund." EastWesterly Review. Online. http://www.postmodernvillage.com/eastwest/ftf.html.

Hardcore, Hillary. "How Lexicological Inventionaryism Became So Popularish (Hint: It was Subliminable)." Eastwesterly Review 5. Online. http://www.postmodernvillage.com/eastwest/issue5/5a-0003.html.