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Postmodern Village
est. 1999
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how to write an essay about flowers
by Hezekiah Allen Taylor

1. Select the blossom of your choice.
2. Write a thesis: Jack-in-the-pulpits, a rare but hardy breed, should be more widely utilized in planting.
3. Outline your daisy section, the piece on bluebells, the conclusion shaped like a snapdragon.
4. The introductory paragraph should have a hook: Goldenrods are more than just a random phallic symbol, even if they do sound like a Jane Fonda parody of a James Bond flick.
5. After this first sentence, add your thesis statement from above: And, Jack-in-the-pulpits, a rare but hardy breed, should be more widely utilized in planting.
6. Flow is very important to tie paragraphs together. For example, the next paragraph might begin: But forget about Jack-in-the-pulpits, what I really want to talk about is the narcissus. Damn narcissus and its name!
7. Develop your body paragraphs by giving detailed information and examples: petal size and count, fruit, potting soil needed, etc.
8. The penultimate sentence should restate your basic thesis of the essay and then break into song: My little buttercup . . . Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true . . .
9. Your final statement can be a future prediction based on what you have shown in the essay: I see morning-glory in the 9th and the rise of a sweet William coup.
10. The end.

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