Untitled Film Project

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M*A*S*H*II: Sabotage in Sin City (2001). ** D: Robert Altman and Tim Burton. Cast: Featuring Charlton Heston (Col. Potter), Keanu Reeves (Hawkeye), Leonardo DiCaprio (Honeycutt), Courtney Love (Hoolihan), Gerard Depardeu (Klinger), and Andy Dick (Radar). Also with Ice Cube (Spearchucker), Gary Oldman (Frank Burns), Sir Anthony Hopkins (Winchester III),and Margaret Cho (Nurse Kelly). Special appearances by Chevy Chase as Henry Blake, Randy Travis as Igor the cook, and Lucy Liu as the nefarious leader of the North Korean Prostitute Liberation Army. Group gathers in Las Vegas for a madcap reunion but find themselves thrown back into wartime duties when a band of ex-prostitutes turned organized criminals try to take over the government with backing from North Korea. R, c, 120 minutes. mc&ec. [direct link]

Martin Van Buren: Dapper Dandy (1988). **** D: James Ivory. Cast: George C. Scott, Emma Thompson. Beautiful cinematogaphy highlights the true story of Van Buren's quest for fashionable duds during the Crisis of 1837. Produced by Ishmail Merchant. PG, c, 112 minutes. jh. [direct link]

Me Love Heap'um Good Movie (1988). * D: Norman Fell. Cast: Lou Diamond Phillips. Me smell bad and racist movie written while on firewater. Phillips stars as Leonard Peltier in this horribly inaccurate film. (The can-can dancing scene is horrifically out-of-place.) Norman Fell should stick to bit parts in 1970s blockbusters and stints on 'Three's Company.' R, c, 84 minutes. jh. [direct link]

Meth Labs Across the USA (1997). ** D: Jim Jarmusch. Cast: Jack Nicholson, David Arquette. Nicholson and Arquette are reformed drug dealers who take off across the country driving a convertible Ford in a last chance run across the US to save an orphanage. R, c, 84 minutes. pbw. [direct link]

Michaelmas (1994). **** D: Ang Lee. Cast: Helena Bonham-Carter, Hugh Grant. Screen adaptation of D.H. Lawrence's little-known novel of lust and deception in the English countryside. Best costume nomination for Ru Paul. Possibly scary for young children. PG-13, c, 124 minutes. le. [direct link]

Moby Lunch (1998). *** D: Terry Gilliam. Cast: Too many to highlight . . . Gilliam directs a cast of thousands in this psychedelic adapation of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings. Best supporting actress nomination for Frances McDormand as a heavily made-up dragon Smaug. A flawed but likeable diamond in the rough. PG-13, c, 125 minutes. le. [direct link]

Monster Mash: The Movie (1986). * 1/2 D: 'Weird' Al Yankovic. Cast: 'Weird' Al Yankovic, Elvira, Dr. Demento, Lon Cheney Jr. A madcap full-length adapatation of the 1950s novelty record. A true guilty pleasure. Possibly scary for young children. PG, bw/c, 84 minutes. le. [direct link]

Moonpie (1999). * D: Stephen Herek. Cast: Ashley Olsen, Mary-Kate Olsen, Stumpy the Elephant. Bland feature has Olsen twins as trapezee artists who become the fat ladies after developing an addiction to circus food. Stumpy, as always, steals the show. G, c, 86 minutes. jh. [direct link]

Mork Calling Orson (1983). ** D: Robert Altman. Cast: Robin Williams, Orson Welles, Pam Dawber, Andie McDowell, Harry Dean Stanton, Sally Kellerman (naked as usual), Andy Warhol, Alan Alda, and others. Due to technical problems, Mork calls Orson . . . Orson Welles. A fascinating dialogue about aging, space travel, creativity, and eggs follows. PG, bw/c, 240 minutes. jh&le. [direct link]

Mother Tongue (1998). *** D: Jan Svankmajer. Cast: Johnny Depp, Wavy Gravy. In this Czech adaptation of the Amy Tan novel, Svankmajer directs and animates the taxidermed animals. Hilarious but disturbing tale of immigration and asssimilation in the mid-1950s West. Shot on location in the Czech Republic. Not rated, c, 134 minutes. le. [direct link]

Mysterious Itch (1979). * D: Farrah Fawcett-Majors. Cast: John Travolta, Cheryl Tiegs, Kurt Russell. Painful comedy about an ointment salesman who falls in love with a registered nurse. Kurt Russell stars as the young man afflicted with an undiagnosed illness whom Tiegs must save from certain discomfort. Not rated, c, 97 minutes. jh. [direct link]

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