As I stare into the TV set,
I notice my haggard reflection.
And I notice my lack.
I have no model-thin girlfriend,
Who brings me beer, my pets do not speak
And I feel hungry. I would drive somewhere,
But I am suddenly ashamed of my Gremlin,
Plaid pants, and generic watch.
I want my mother
To give me head
And an allowance.
I am no longer a child.