Five Poems

Charles V. Gustavsen

Issue 2 * Spring 2000

Dali Flakes 'n' Honey

     Would you freak
If you saw your face
Exploding in milk?

 

The Little Plastic Latch Broke Off and They Say it Would Cost as Much to Fix It as to Buy a New One

The tough, molded Polycrapyline® body
Will give you months of satisfaction

 

How to Eliminate World Hunger

A bag that would hold 20 pounds of rice
Has as much surface area
As a full page ad in the New York Times

A full page ad in the New York Times
Will be seen by an average of 0.64 people
Per copy

A bag of rice shipped to North Korea
Will be seen by an average of 17.31 people
From packaging to delivery
Only 3.17 of whom are starving

The advertising value of the bag
Is approximately twelve times
The cash value of the rice

Sell the space to Nike

 

Nike, like a slaver lead us

Nike, like a slaver lead us			buying
						355

1.  Nike, like a slaver lead us, much we need thy great footwear.
2.  We want shoes, do thou supply us, be our vendor all the way.
3.  Early let us seek thy logo, let thy swoosh give us a thrill.

1.  With thy cute commercials feed us, for your products us prepare.
2.  With thy market research ply us, seek us when we go astray.
3.  Mighty brand and corporate Father, with thy shoes our closets fill.

chorus
Mighty Nike! Mighty Nike! we have bought thee, thine we are.
Mighty Nike! Mighty Nike! we have bought thee, thine we are.

Text: anonymous, Hymns for the consumer, 1986
Music: William B. Bradbury, Oriola, 1859

 

Of Course I'm a Real Friggin' Anarchist

Lookit all this crap
I stole from Starbucks
When I busted out the window
With a rock

I hate those corporate bastards

Want some free coffee?