The Mainly Annual EastWesterly Review / Postmodern Village Conference 2006

A Report on the 13th Annual Conference and Poolside Pandemonium

By Special Correspondent T.S. DeHaviland

Papers: Part II

John LydownSid Viscous: Extreme Unction in the Age of the Apotheosis of Popular Culture
by John Lydown

As memorable as it was, Lydown's paper was not as memorable as his dramatic re-enactments of many of rock and pop's greasiest acts. His contention that "Rock the Casbah" was as much about Brylcreem as the energy crisis is slickly presented, but slippery logic. Pungent, cogent, lubricated, and This Correspondent thinks he needs a shower. Dick Cheney won't li-ike it . . .

Cole N. PowellALL HAIL THE NODES: Virtual Glam Band Slam Bang Cyberpunque
by Pat E. Smith and the E-Node Collective

The thesis of this paper was drowned out by bad speakers and the inevitable Window's Media Player® greebliness. It appears to have been about techno-triumphalism, but Smith's projection of tragic hipness failed to meld with the E-Nodes' equally tragic geekdom. Not everything is better with a hip-hop beat.

DineshD'SouzaphoneSlouching Toward Byzantium: Yeats in the Age of Geographic Illiteracy Syndrome
by Dinesh D'Souzaphone

D'Souzaphone has a point, but battling GIS isn't necessarily only the province of the neo-con. One could easily argue his conservative position makes geographic illiteracy even more of a problem, as actually knowing something about Iraq might make students less likely to want to grow up and bomb it. And Yeats' oeuvre seems an unlikely partner. Why couldn't he have gone off Kipling and let Yeats stay in his tower?

D. Lan ZimmermanThe Naked Brunch: Corporate Yuppiedom as Psycho-Social Subversion
by D. Lan Zimmerman

It may appear counter-intuitive, but as the Yuppim trade in their Chevy Tahoes for Toyota Priuses and put down their Big Macs for their Boca Burgers, counter culture has become pop culture yet again. Of course, the hangings and anal rape of Burroughs' classic probably won't turn up on Desperate Housewives anytime soon, and Dylan is now a DJ on satellite radio. Is it still a revolution if it's already bought and paid for and sponsored by Tide?

Jessica H. PurgatorioPray Dough: on the Malleability of Pop Theology as High Finance Dialectical Capitalism
by Jessica H. Purgatorio

With PraySkool's Mega Church Scripture Factory slated to be this Christmas's biggest toy, Purgatorio's paper seems particularly prophetic. Her contention that theological precepts are a fungible commodity, much like oil, and that one could think of one's values as constituting a sort of a market, is both plausible and has disturbing implications for this Fall's elections, especially considering which party has cornered said market. But her conclusions are questionable: the way for Democrats = a Holy Hedge Fund?

Rose E. O'Don-ElProfound Sexual Dimorphism as Reinforcement of Socio-Sexual Double Standards in the American Sitcom
by Rose E. O'Don-El

Did you ever ask yourself "What's wrong with this picture?" as you flipped across The King of Queens on TV? That's right: What's that svelte little hottie doing married to that porky lump of human dough? Not that this is new: Drew Carey's girth never seemed to impede his ability to land the cutest, thinnest girl on the set. But then again, it was his show. The implied message, contends O'Don-El, is that fat is sexy if you're male, but curves on women are not allowed. This Correspondent is not sure that making all the men who attended the presentation of her paper watch the whole thing from the StairMaster helped prove her point intellectually, but it sure made us feel the burn.

Igatz D. TrotskisWaffles of Fun: the Gastronomical Downs and Ups of Theme Park Food, a Marxist Perspective
by Igatz D. Trotskis

When you own the cotton candy machine, you own the tools of production – at least that's what Trotskis claims – so the evolution of home versions of cotton candy machines (and funnel cake mix, hot dog roasters and popcorn stands) means the bourgeoisie are owning these tools too. The amusement park food experience now needs no amusement park – and no workers! What's a carny to do? Trotskis had an interesting solution we can't reveal here, but let's just say that it involved an industrial-strength deep-fat fryer and the dark corners of a "fun house."

P. Ma Chodown and Mary ConeyThe Sixgun Sange: Do Spaghetti Westerns Have Buddha Nature?
by P. Ma Chodown and Mary Coney

What is the sound of Ennio Morricone whistling outside a movie?

 

Page 3 (papers continued)